Sisters

The other morning, while I was hurrying to finish breakfast, I heard a little fuss and then a faint voice, "Don't worry, Audrey, I'll carry you..." Words that strike fear into any mama with a baby and toddler under the same roof.  I rushed in to find the problem solver with her arms clinched tightly around the Littlest's neck trying (thankfully, unsuccessfully) to carry her younger sister.

"I think when Sister is making that face, she is saying 'No thank you'," I tried to reason.
"Maybe she just wants to lay beside you and play." More reasoning.
"I want to hold sister."
As I positioned the helpless one in between her legs, Audrey gave me the look that clearly communicates, "Help! Or I'm going to cry!"
"Hmmm...." How do I explain to my dear girl, who is truly trying to be helpful, that Sister wants love... but, well, maybe not that much.

We are starting to have these little interactions daily.  Lilly helping. Audrey squirming. Mommy redirecting.  The other day my exuberant daughter was playing peek-a-boo with the Littlest like she had seen me do with a scarf over Audrey's head, then back up.... except, much slower, with the scarf covering her head during much of the game.

"Do you think Sister likes that ?"
"Let's look at her face.... is she OK? Is she breathing?"

Then there was the time this past week when Lil was watching me try to feed Audrey by sneaking food into her mouth while making loud, obnoxious noises. (A desperate mother's attempt to fill up the baby in hopes that she will sleep more than.... say, a two hour stretch.) The little observer caught on and starting making very loud, gruff farm animal noises.  This made Audrey burst in laughter, which, in turn, made Lilly laugh until her face turned red.... this went on, back and forth, until both girls were laughing hysterically.  I squelched my instinctual response to tell the older, wiser one not to play at the table.  Instead, I sat back and smiled as the sisters enjoyed each other.

A year ago.... just twelve short months ago...I was in the waiting room, anxiously anticipating my twenty week ultrasound, just as I had done two years earlier.   Was I carrying a boy or a girl? But his time was different than the first... Not only was I going to have a son or a daughter, this baby would be a little brother or sister.  In a few minutes, with a lot of goop and a little monitor I would know.  I thought about all the practical logistics.... a girl would be more convenient in our little home.... Pull out the crib bedding, the pink newborn clothes, and wa-la! We would be ready.  But honestly, my intense desire for a girl, a daughter, ran deeper than pink in the nursery.  I wanted Lillian to have a little sister.... a friend.

So after months of "I need you mama." "Don't pick up Audrey." "Put Audrey in the crib." Taking toys, trading toys.... pouring dirt, covering heads.... I watched them laugh together.....  full-belly-makes-your-whole-body-shake laughter.

I was watching them become friends.  That filled up my heart.

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